HUMOR: BLONDE JOKES!

You might have to think twice about this one.

A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip

Of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency

Room doctor asked her.

'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.

'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting

Off your finger?'

'No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, & Then

I thought, 'I just paid $6, 000.00 for these implants...

I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'

'So then?' asked the doctor.

'Then I put the gun in my mouth, & I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00

To get my teeth straightened I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'

'So then?'

'Then I put the gun to my ear, & I thought: 'This is going to make a

Loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the

Trigger.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A blonde was driving home after a game & got caught in a really bad

Hailstorm.. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took

it To a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he

Decided to have some fun... He told her to go home and blow into the

Tail pipe really hard, & all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands & knees & started

Blowing into her tailpipe.. Nothing happened.. So she blew a little

Harder, & still nothing happened.

Her blonde roommate saw her & asked, 'What are you doing?' The first

Blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the

Tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.

The roommate rolled her eyes & said, 'Uh, like hello!

You need to roll up the windows first.'

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

These are just too cute not to pass on!!!!

A blonde was shopping at Target &

came across a shiny silver Thermos.

She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up & took It to the

clerk to ask what it was.

The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos.....

It keeps hot things hot, And cold things cold.'

'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!'

So she Bought the thermos & took it to work the next day.

Her boss saw it on her desk.

'What's that,' he asked?

'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot & cold things

Cold,' she replied..

Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'

The blond replied......

'Coffee and Two popsicles.'

+++++++++++++

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.

Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'

The blonde replies,

'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that My mother had

passed away.'

The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the

Day? Take the day off to relax & rest.'

'Thanks, but I'd be better off here.

I need to keep my mind off it &

I have the best chance of doing that here.'

The boss agrees & allows the blonde to work as usual.

A couple of hours pass & the boss decides to check on the blonde.

He looks out from his office & sees the blonde crying hysterically...

'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks.

'No!' exclaims the blonde.

'I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died,

too!'