Back in May of last year, The Onion wrote a silly article satirizing the growing ridiculousness of the charges being levied against Planned Parenthood entitled “Planned Parenthood Opens $8 Billion Abortionplex.”
Unfortunately, due in part to the anti-PP tidal wave being brought forth by conservative media and the sad fact that there were still people in 2011 that didn’t understand The Onion or satire, a number of people thought the article was real, sharing it on social media platforms. There were so many of these misguided people that their response inspired the fantastic blog Literally Unbelievable, a site dedicated to sharing the tweets and Facebook posts of confused Onion readers. We wrote about the site last May and, nearly a year later, it’s still going strong. Today they even shared a post by someone who was still being fooled by that “Abortionplex” gag. The amazing thing is, though, that that person is a member of Congress.
Yep, lets take a look at the (since deleted, of course) Facebook post from Louisiana’s Rep. John Fleming:
Wow. Not only is this article from The Onion. Not only is it nine months old. Not only does it have the term “Abortionplex” in the headline. The whole thing is also patently ridiculous. Don’t believe me? Lets take a look at the text from the article one of our elected officials believes was real.
“‘The Abortionplex’s high-tech machinery is capable of terminating one pregnancy every three seconds,’ Richards added. ‘That’s almost a million abortions every month. We’re so thrilled!’Yep.
…
The remaining space is dedicated to amenities such as coffee shops, bars, dozens of restaurants and retail outlets, a three-story nightclub, and a 10-screen multiplex theater—features intended not only to help clients relax, but to foster a sense of community and make abortion more of a social event.
‘We really want abortion to become a regular part of women’s lives, especially younger women who have enough fertile years ahead of them to potentially have dozens of abortions,’ said Richards, adding that the Abortionplex would provide shuttle service to and from most residences, schools, and shopping malls in the region.” (read the entire story below)
I sure am glad that well-informed people like John Fleming who have such a solid grasp on reality have the legal ability to fund and defund organizations that help tons of Americans. Keep up the good work running America, John!
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My Thoughts:
Don't these conservatives ever crawl out from under their rock and seek knowledge from other sources than Fox Fake News? If I remember, Fox News carried this as an actual news story until a viewer called them and told them it was from the Onion site and it was fake. They immediately took the story off their website, but it took two days for it to be removed from the scripts the TV talent was reading. They never did issue a correction, they just acted like it never happened. The couldn't admit that they had failed to fact check a story someone they got stories from, Republican Communication Strategist, that it was fake.
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HERE IS THAT SATIRICAL NEWS REPORT:
Planned Parenthood Opens $8 Billion Abortionplex
The state-of-the-art facility, which features an IMAX movie theater as well as multiple fetus incinerators.
TOPEKA, KS—Planned Parenthood announced Tuesday the grand
opening of its long-planned $8 billion Abortionplex, a sprawling
abortion facility that will allow the organization to terminate unborn
lives with an efficiency never before thought possible.
During a press conference, Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards told reporters that the new state-of-the-art fetus-killing facility located in the nation's heartland offers quick, easy, in-and-out abortions to all women, and represents a bold reinvention of the group's long-standing mission and values.
"Although we've traditionally dedicated 97 percent of our resources to other important services such as contraception distribution, cancer screening, and STD testing, this new complex allows us to devote our full attention to what has always been our true passion: abortion," said Richards, standing under a banner emblazoned with Planned Parenthood's new slogan, "No Life Is Sacred." "And since Congress voted to retain our federal funding, it's going to be that much easier for us to maximize the number of tiny, beating hearts we stop every day."
"The Abortionplex's high-tech machinery is capable of terminating one pregnancy every three seconds," Richards added. "That's almost a million abortions every month. We're so thrilled!"
The 900,000-square-foot facility has more than 2,000 rooms dedicated to the abortion procedure. The abundance of surgical space, Richards said, will ensure that women visiting the facility can be quickly fitted into stirrups without pausing to second-guess their decision or consider alternatives such as adoption.
Hundreds of on-site counselors are also available to meet with clients free of charge and go over the many ways that carrying a child to term will burden them and very likely ruin their lives.
The remaining space is dedicated to amenities such as coffee shops,
bars, dozens of restaurants and retail outlets, a three-story nightclub,
and a 10-screen multiplex theater—features intended not only to help
clients relax, but to foster a sense of community and make abortion more
of a social event.
"We really want abortion to become a regular part of women's lives, especially younger women who have enough fertile years ahead of them to potentially have dozens of abortions," said Richards, adding that the Abortionplex would provide shuttle service to and from most residences, schools, and shopping malls in the region. "Our hope is for this facility to become a regular destination where a woman in her second trimester can whoop it up at karaoke and then kick back while we vacuum out the contents of her uterus."
"All women should feel like they have a home at the Abortionplex," Richards continued. "Whether she's a high school junior who doesn't want to go to prom pregnant, a go-getter professional who can't be bothered with the time commitment of raising a child, or a prostitute who knows getting an abortion is the easiest form of birth control—all are welcome."
Nineteen-year-old Marcy Kolrath, one of the Abortionplex's first clients, told reporters that despite her initial hesitancy, she was quickly put at ease by staff members who reassured her that she could have abortions over and over for the next decade before finally committing to motherhood. Kolrath also said she was "wowed" by the facility's many attractions.
"I was kind of on the fence in the beginning," she said. "But after a couple of margaritas and a ride down the lazy river they've got circling the place, I got caught up in the vibe. By the time it was over, I almost wished I could've aborted twins and gotten to stay a little longer."
"I told my boyfriend we had to have sex again that very night," Kolrath added. "I really want to come back over Labor Day."
During a press conference, Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards told reporters that the new state-of-the-art fetus-killing facility located in the nation's heartland offers quick, easy, in-and-out abortions to all women, and represents a bold reinvention of the group's long-standing mission and values.
"Although we've traditionally dedicated 97 percent of our resources to other important services such as contraception distribution, cancer screening, and STD testing, this new complex allows us to devote our full attention to what has always been our true passion: abortion," said Richards, standing under a banner emblazoned with Planned Parenthood's new slogan, "No Life Is Sacred." "And since Congress voted to retain our federal funding, it's going to be that much easier for us to maximize the number of tiny, beating hearts we stop every day."
"The Abortionplex's high-tech machinery is capable of terminating one pregnancy every three seconds," Richards added. "That's almost a million abortions every month. We're so thrilled!"
The 900,000-square-foot facility has more than 2,000 rooms dedicated to the abortion procedure. The abundance of surgical space, Richards said, will ensure that women visiting the facility can be quickly fitted into stirrups without pausing to second-guess their decision or consider alternatives such as adoption.
Hundreds of on-site counselors are also available to meet with clients free of charge and go over the many ways that carrying a child to term will burden them and very likely ruin their lives.
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Graphical Feature
"We really want abortion to become a regular part of women's lives, especially younger women who have enough fertile years ahead of them to potentially have dozens of abortions," said Richards, adding that the Abortionplex would provide shuttle service to and from most residences, schools, and shopping malls in the region. "Our hope is for this facility to become a regular destination where a woman in her second trimester can whoop it up at karaoke and then kick back while we vacuum out the contents of her uterus."
"All women should feel like they have a home at the Abortionplex," Richards continued. "Whether she's a high school junior who doesn't want to go to prom pregnant, a go-getter professional who can't be bothered with the time commitment of raising a child, or a prostitute who knows getting an abortion is the easiest form of birth control—all are welcome."
Nineteen-year-old Marcy Kolrath, one of the Abortionplex's first clients, told reporters that despite her initial hesitancy, she was quickly put at ease by staff members who reassured her that she could have abortions over and over for the next decade before finally committing to motherhood. Kolrath also said she was "wowed" by the facility's many attractions.
"I was kind of on the fence in the beginning," she said. "But after a couple of margaritas and a ride down the lazy river they've got circling the place, I got caught up in the vibe. By the time it was over, I almost wished I could've aborted twins and gotten to stay a little longer."
"I told my boyfriend we had to have sex again that very night," Kolrath added. "I really want to come back over Labor Day."
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